Sometimes, many nights aren't what I would consider moments of inspiration. More often they are moments of indecision. I get on a train of thought that becomes a wreck and I have to pick up the pieces. A lot of irrationality can come over me. Maybe I'm just tired. Perhaps my imagination has gone off on a random streak.
As I'm often so fond of saying, things are often not as random as they first appear. Even when my thoughts get derailed, there's always a reason as to why. I may not be able to rationally explain why at the time. Sometimes, I never figure out what I was thinking.
Writing Rarely Goes According to Plan
When I'm writing, it's often that nothing goes according to plan. In life, you just have to accept that rarely plans really work out. Sometimes, they do, but that's the exception, not the rule.
When I set out to write a thing, I can't tell you how.much of the time a topic gets turned around into something I never would have thought of before. Often, I'll work it out. But, there are so many unfinished drafts on the verge of seeing digital oblivion because I don't know what to do with them.
Writing is by its very nature a creative activity. It's important to try to be creative in any way that you can in life. Try to always build on something. Rarely do creative acts ever go according to plan, though. You have to accept that. Life is that way, too. And in fact the very reason that life rarely goes according to plan is that there are so many effects which have causes that you could never have imagined.
So many times I don't fully understand my influences behind certain compulsions I'll get. Especially when it comes to writing, there will just be a need to express certain thoughts or ideas. The human mind constantly works on so many different levels. But it's definitely not as random as it first seems.
It seems I have a certain sort of fascination with needing to understand why I find myself needing to write about certain things. Sometimes I hate my brain for following certain patterns. It's frustrating when my thoughts get seriously disorganized. I find myself staring at the screen and can't compose anything. But the reason often turns out to be I need to be doing something else - just I often have a hard time figuring out what that is.
Rarely Does Anything Go According to Plan, Really
I've come to accept that my writing will rarely go according to plan. I just let the writing come when it does. It's convenient if it's something that will pay well or something I'm passionate enough about that I don't care if I'm ever compensated for it. I realize that I need a balance of both, with the more mundane mixed in. Writing should be an exercise, not forced labor.
As much as you may like to organize your life in a clear-cut fashion, for me, trying to do that becomes frustrating and fruitless. I find that you just get an idea in your head and try to set a goal or two a day. But I do that when I wake up. And even if I don't get done what I set out to do, at leasst I've gotten some progress done on those goals. That's really the best I can do, and I think that's true for most of us, too.
Nothing is going according to plan lately, especially with my writing. But I just have to accept this. Such is life, sometimes.
And if you can plan out your life almost perfectly with few interuptions, I'd love to learn how.